TJ’s post the other day and this article from Gail Blanke, the awesome Life Coach from Real Simple Magazine, really got me thinking about listening and how important it is for us and those around us.  This is a skill that I was born with and growing up I was always good at.  And just to clarify, I am not talking about the kind of listening where your mom says “go clean your room” and you “listen” to her and go do it.  Nope, I was never good at that kind listening.  :) 

I’m talking about the kind of listening that helps develop friendships, deepen relationships, and build trust.  The kind of listening that we do when we are genuinely concerned or care about what someone is saying. 

Growing up I always made friends with the outgoing types, because I was not.  As you probably know, outgoing types like to talk!  And what better friend for them than someone who likes to listen?!  But somewhere along the way, my listening skills literally diminished.  Let’s just say that the older I get, the more my attention span has grown shorter right along with my patience.  I swear I thought it was supposed to happen in the opposite way!  That being said, I would like to improve my listening skills.

Being an attentive listener can not only improve the quality of your conversations, but it can also help another person to feel listened to.  And who doesn’t want to feel like they are being heard and understood?  I think that people who are truly skilled listeners, especially those who work in customer service, know that most of the time the person who is upset just wants to be heard. 

What a gift we can give someone today.  Just listening.

I’ve compiled a short list of articles that pertain to listening and how to improve our skill.

Again, the fabulous article from Gail Blanke.

This article from zenhabits discusses how slowing down is critical to being a good listener.

Lastly, this article from mindtools.com is great! Not only does it explain the benefits of being a good listener (and there are so many!), but it also gives very easy tips for becoming an active listener.

Here’s a tidbit from the article:

It takes a lot of concentration and determination to be an active listener. Old habits are hard to break, and if your listening habits are as bad as many people’s are, then there’s a lot of habit-breaking to do!

Be deliberate with your listening and remind yourself constantly that your goal is to truly hear what the other person is saying. Set aside all other thoughts and behaviors and concentrate on the message. Ask question, reflect, and paraphrase to ensure you understand the message. If you don’t, then you’ll find that what someone says to you and what you hear can be amazingly different!

How are your listening skills? Is there room for improvement? And how do you feel when someone really takes the time to listen to you and how you feel?