What happens when we have goals that we don’t even realize that we have?  Depending on the goal, it can be a good thing or a bad thing.  I already told you about the discovery I made about my “secret goal” to eat whatever I want once I reach my goal weight.  This was a thought that had been lurking in the back of my mind the entire time I’ve been trying to lose weight and upon discovering it, I had to shatter that reservation because there is no end to this diet.  It made a big difference.

Well guess what.  The secret brain society in the back of my head is at it again!  And what did I discover it was up to this time?  Oh you won’t believe this.  My “healthy lifestyle” has been operating under this one foundational principle: 

Eat as badly as you can but still lose weight.  As you can imagine, that is a VERY fine line.  Like ultra, super fine.  And how does someone manage to eat as badly as they can and still lose weight?  By having little to no margin in their diet.  Let me explain.Let’s say my caloric range per day to lose 1-2 pounds a week is 1,200-1,500.  And let’s say I eat the absolute maximum amount of calories each day: 1,500.  How much margin does that leave me for error?  Say, an extra cookie.  Or a bite of Hubby’s garlic mashed potatoes.  Or a couple of cheez-its.  And that is assuming that I can control every single craving, urge, and desire to eat unhealthy. 

Where does that leave me?  Out of my target range, in an instant.  Which turns into stagnation or evening gaining.

This also applies to the points system on Weight Watchers.  I have a daily number of points that I can eat and my thought process behind the points has been the same.  “I need to make sure and eat the maximum number of points each day to get the full value because darn it, I deserve every single one of those points!!”  So I do and then when the evening munchies come on, I find myself diving into my weekly allotment of points.  That would be okay once or twice a week but this behavior has been validated by my thought process of eating as badly as I can but still lose weight and many times I end up going over.

The problem with this line of thinking is this:  It teaches me to try and cheat the system.  It sets me up for thinking “Oh, I tried so hard and it just doesn’t work for me!” and “No matter how much I suffer, I still can’t lose this weight!”  That type of thinking doesn’t promote positive, healthy changes…. it reinforces the old behaviors that got me overweight to begin with. 

Now that I’ve realized this sneaky secret goal exists, I get the opportunity to re-train my way of thinking and re-align my behaviors.  First off, my new conscious goal now is to eat as healthy as I can each meal of each day to feel good.  Doesn’t it sound so simple?  It does.  But when you look at the contrast between the two goals, you can really see how behaviors can contribute and reinforce them.

Old goal:  Eat as badly as you can and still lose weight.

New goal:  Eat as healthy as you can to feel good.

The interesting thing has been that once I changed the premise of my diet, the rest of me has followed.  Now that my goal is to eat healthy to feel good, my thoughts, willingness, and motivation have followed.  Eating crappy foods or snacks just doesn’t sound good because it doesn’t support the bottom line like it used to.

And that brings us back to margin.  Now I can create some margin between the amount of points I take in daily and how many I am allowed.  Reaching my maximum points is not important anymore because it has nothing to do with eating as healthy as I can at each meal.  So I end up with this margin of points at the end of the day.  Which turns into weight loss. 

Go figure.

Finally, that brings me back to the magic of those secret goals and thoughts.  They are the ones we pay little attention to but end up driving our actions if we aren’t careful.  How many more of them are out there?  How many more are swimming around in my head?  It makes me wonder and reminds me how important it is to stay mindful and pay attention to what I am actually thinking.  Sounds crazy but it just might help.